Lopsafmet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring jaguar.

Lopsafmet created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopsafmet, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lopsafmet, he will manifest in front of you.

Lopsafmet's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lopsafmet's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lopsafmet.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never feed peanuts to great tits while wearing blue coats.

5. Never feed rice to manatees while wearing hats.