Dussgoffas is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, grumpy elephant.

Dussgoffas created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dussgoffas, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dussgoffas, she will turn you into a plant.

Dussgoffas' most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Dussgoffas' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured frogs.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never chant in the presence of badgers.