Nuttnibpingab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, contented centipede.

Nuttnibpingab created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttnibpingab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttnibpingab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nuttnibpingab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nuttnibpingab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight copper sculptures of Nuttnibpingab on top of important buildings.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never feed gooseberries to aardvarks while wearing white shoes.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.