Xemcadshav is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous human.

Xemcadshav created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemcadshav, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xemcadshav, he will send you a sign.

Xemcadshav's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Xemcadshav's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Xemcadshav in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must love Xemcadshav.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never wear cyan trousers.

5. Pray towards the east.