Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sapient hamster.

Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Dapjamquill Tarnurtfob on top of all buildings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about chromosomes.