Mobbammat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, flying turtle.

Mobbammat created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mobbammat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mobbammat, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Mobbammat's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Mobbammat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Mobbammat first in all things.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dolphins while wearing cyan trousers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about galaxies.