Vagwadflat is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, benevolent wolf.

Vagwadflat created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Vagwadflat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vagwadflat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Vagwadflat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Vagwadflat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Vagwadflat four times a day.

3. Vagwadflat loves cats, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed lots of wheat to ants while wearing orange jumpers.

5. Never mention dolphins.