Mobpogyam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody alligator.

Mobpogyam created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobpogyam, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mobpogyam, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mobpogyam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Mobpogyam's Holy Commandments

1. Mobpogyam loves snails, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near birds while wearing brown trousers and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.