Vanbatjap Nillrulnar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, awesome pigeon.

Vanbatjap Nillrulnar created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Vanbatjap Nillrulnar, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vanbatjap Nillrulnar, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Vanbatjap Nillrulnar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vanbatjap Nillrulnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never chant in the presence of mice.

3. Always wear green.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.