Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, quiet dolphin.

Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Worship no other gods but Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit.

4. Put Cabtomstigpadzigdapjindit first in all things.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.