Ratshavolvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, quiet weasel.

Ratshavolvonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratshavolvonk, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ratshavolvonk, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ratshavolvonk's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ratshavolvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six pigs approach from the west.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not take Ratshavolvonk's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.