Fubcethap is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, dishonourable monkey.

Fubcethap created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubcethap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fubcethap, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fubcethap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fubcethap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never feed turnips to nematodes while wearing violet stockings.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.