Gomvinbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, astonishing unicorn.

Gomvinbaf created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomvinbaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomvinbaf, it will turn you into a plant.

Gomvinbaf's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gomvinbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight capybaras approach from the west.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about dark energy near horses while wearing orange hats and balancing four titanium spheres on your face.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.