Vonbatciss is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane pigeon.

Vonbatciss created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbatciss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonbatciss, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vonbatciss' most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Vonbatciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to squirrels while wearing yellow coats.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Vonbatciss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never paint your neck blue.