Gonlatfargepfiglipstig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonourable frog.

Gonlatfargepfiglipstig created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonlatfargepfiglipstig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonlatfargepfiglipstig, she will turn you into a rat.

Gonlatfargepfiglipstig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gonlatfargepfiglipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six turtles approach from the north.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Always obey Gonlatfargepfiglipstig's priests.