Gomlarpyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, generous guinea pig.

Gomlarpyatt created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomlarpyatt, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomlarpyatt, he will throw large rocks at you.

Gomlarpyatt's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gomlarpyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed tomatoes to swans while wearing shoes.