Arpvidbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, effective hummingbird.

Arpvidbeg created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpvidbeg, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arpvidbeg, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Arpvidbeg's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Arpvidbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Run away if four ants approach from the south.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not chop down trees.