Cinvilpod is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish armadillo.

Cinvilpod created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinvilpod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cinvilpod, she will jump up and down on your head.

Cinvilpod's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Cinvilpod's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cinvilpod.

2. Always help monkeys in need.

3. Never sing near eagles.

4. Do not hurt moths.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Cinvilpod in the centre of the settlement.