Farbisshen is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, amazing crab.

Farbisshen created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Farbisshen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farbisshen, he will not invite you to parties.

Farbisshen's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Farbisshen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near geese while wearing pink ear rings and balancing four copper spheres on your chest.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never paint your hands green.

5. Do not stand on grass.