Sawlarppom is a god.

He takes the form of a small, witless cat.

Sawlarppom created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawlarppom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sawlarppom, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sawlarppom's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sawlarppom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the south.

4. Never hop in the presence of ants.

5. Do not cook food in pots.