Tailarfdob Hitarfpak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered coyote.

Tailarfdob Hitarfpak created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Tailarfdob Hitarfpak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tailarfdob Hitarfpak, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tailarfdob Hitarfpak's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tailarfdob Hitarfpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Never talk about sharks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.