Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humane capybara.

Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot, she will try to impress you with trees.

Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Put Jabtadlamgabteenbagfot first in all things.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Hide from pink dogs for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.