Yattafxen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awesome fly.

Yattafxen created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yattafxen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yattafxen, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yattafxen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yattafxen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta seals for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed bread to mites while wearing scarves.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never hurt ducks.