Teenzimtitwat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless gnu.

Teenzimtitwat created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenzimtitwat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Teenzimtitwat, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Teenzimtitwat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Teenzimtitwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Do not take Teenzimtitwat's name in vain.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.