Bedgidlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil grasshopper.

Bedgidlarp created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedgidlarp, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bedgidlarp, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bedgidlarp's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bedgidlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of mites.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Bedgidlarp on top of important buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about tapirs.