Cemjadnar is a god.
She takes the form of an extremely fat, caring
human.
Cemjadnar created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Cemjadnar, she will celebrate by creating some universes.
If you do not believe in
Cemjadnar, she will send four elephants to rub you out.
Cemjadnar's most sacred site is Neravy in India.
Cemjadnar's Holy Commandments1. Never eat bark.
2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.
3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.
4. Always help voles in need.
5. Your children must be taught to worship Cemjadnar.