Gumbemzag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, happy whale.

Gumbemzag created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbemzag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumbemzag, it will be very unhappy.

Gumbemzag's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gumbemzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not take Gumbemzag's name in vain.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never paint your feet magenta.