Kopflanvab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, calm fish.

Kopflanvab created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Kopflanvab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kopflanvab, it will strike you with lightening.

Kopflanvab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Kopflanvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kopflanvab.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing green tights.

5. Put Kopflanvab first in all things.