Safflaptap is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering badger.

Safflaptap created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safflaptap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Safflaptap, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Safflaptap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Safflaptap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to turtles while wearing brown hats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help seals.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. You must pray to Safflaptap six times a day.