Hamtitvoldobquam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, amazing lobster.

Hamtitvoldobquam created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtitvoldobquam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hamtitvoldobquam, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hamtitvoldobquam's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hamtitvoldobquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not eat wheat.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.