Omtbumnur is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic fish.

Omtbumnur created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtbumnur, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Omtbumnur, he will turn you into a snail.

Omtbumnur's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Omtbumnur's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Omtbumnur.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from white otters for they are unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.