Loopfebveenvanyam is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise wyrm.

Loopfebveenvanyam created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopfebveenvanyam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopfebveenvanyam, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Loopfebveenvanyam's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Loopfebveenvanyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing blue kilts and balancing four gold spheres on your back.

4. Always help sick moths.

5. Never talk about fire.