Wapyimnan Largrawgen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonest bat.

Wapyimnan Largrawgen created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapyimnan Largrawgen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wapyimnan Largrawgen, it will remove you from existence.

Wapyimnan Largrawgen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Wapyimnan Largrawgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt pigs.

2. Retreat if six voles approach from the east.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Put Wapyimnan Largrawgen first in all things.