Jamvinnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating jackal.

Jamvinnurl created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamvinnurl, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jamvinnurl, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jamvinnurl's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jamvinnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray voles, for they are unholy.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Jamvinnurl in the centre of the settlement.