Stansawfod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, benevolent parrot.

Stansawfod created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stansawfod, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Stansawfod, she will jump up and down on your head.

Stansawfod's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Stansawfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Manatees are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Stansawfod in the centre of the settlement.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.