Wotcumbem is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, amazing spider.

Wotcumbem created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Wotcumbem, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wotcumbem, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wotcumbem's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wotcumbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Wotcumbem's name in vain.

2. Always help mice.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near frogs while wearing pink stockings and balancing seven tin spheres on your back.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Do not shave your neck.