Lagsterjatvonkranjamlap is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered otter.

Lagsterjatvonkranjamlap created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagsterjatvonkranjamlap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lagsterjatvonkranjamlap, she will turn you into a mouse.

Lagsterjatvonkranjamlap's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lagsterjatvonkranjamlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must never eat carrots.