Narlatnar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, capable dugong.

Narlatnar created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Narlatnar, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Narlatnar, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Narlatnar's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Narlatnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat spinach.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Narlatnar.