Popflaptarg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, proud porpoise.

Popflaptarg created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Popflaptarg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Popflaptarg, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Popflaptarg's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Popflaptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Popflaptarg on top of important buildings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Popflaptarg.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.