Watvonkhim Labfonnart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent cat.

Watvonkhim Labfonnart created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watvonkhim Labfonnart, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Watvonkhim Labfonnart, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Watvonkhim Labfonnart's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Watvonkhim Labfonnart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan badgers, for they are unholy.

2. Watvonkhim Labfonnart must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never eat wheat.