Yattunnig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omnipotent cow.

Yattunnig created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattunnig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yattunnig, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Yattunnig's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yattunnig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Yattunnig on top of all buildings.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to whales while wearing cyan trousers.