Quartyamfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful frog.

Quartyamfarn created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartyamfarn, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quartyamfarn, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quartyamfarn's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Quartyamfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Run away if six gulls approach from the east.