Timcabmil is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless jaguar.

Timcabmil created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timcabmil, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Timcabmil, she will turn you into a mole.

Timcabmil's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Timcabmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Do not sing in public.