Tanmonpit is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, almighty alligator.

Tanmonpit created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanmonpit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tanmonpit, it will destroy your home planet.

Tanmonpit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tanmonpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must love Tanmonpit.

5. Tanmonpit loves geese, so they must be honoured.