Stanrilmigsad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, boastful horse.

Stanrilmigsad created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanrilmigsad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stanrilmigsad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Stanrilmigsad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Stanrilmigsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing cyan tights and balancing nine copper spheres on your legs.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.