Arplamhub is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, uncaring giraffe.

Arplamhub created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arplamhub, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arplamhub, she will turn you into a rock.

Arplamhub's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Arplamhub's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Arplamhub.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.