Arplamhub is a god.
She takes the form of a very thin, uncaring
giraffe.
Arplamhub created a quark six trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Arplamhub, she will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Arplamhub, she will turn you into a rock.
Arplamhub's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.
Arplamhub's Holy Commandments1. Worship no other gods but Arplamhub.
2. Always stare at clouds.
3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.
4. Do not stand on grass.
5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.