Quagladbat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome grasshopper.

Quagladbat created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagladbat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quagladbat, it will be very unhappy.

Quagladbat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Quagladbat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Quagladbat first in all things.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not keep five pigs in a large pit.

5. Erect three silicon sculptures of Quagladbat on top of important buildings.