Kenquagged Cinmiddin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful hamster.

Kenquagged Cinmiddin created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kenquagged Cinmiddin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kenquagged Cinmiddin, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kenquagged Cinmiddin's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Kenquagged Cinmiddin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near horses while wearing red corsets.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never play with disobedient children.