Homtunvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing cobra.

Homtunvonk created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homtunvonk, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Homtunvonk, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Homtunvonk's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Homtunvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Homtunvonk.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not hurt dogs.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.