Mabrowkik is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient tapir.

Mabrowkik created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabrowkik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mabrowkik, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mabrowkik's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Mabrowkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about doves.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about special relativity near swans while wearing indigo corsets and balancing six copper spheres on your arms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.